


On the Practical Application of Rays

by VZG



Category: Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog
Genre: Dubious Consent, First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-07-21
Updated: 2008-07-21
Packaged: 2017-11-16 04:52:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/535717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VZG/pseuds/VZG
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dr. Horrible loves his rays. So does Captain Hammer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	On the Practical Application of Rays

The thing that set Dr. Horrible apart from everyone else was the rays. Dr. Normal wasn't a ray guy; he was actually a sort of medical doctor, creating armies of stiched and stapled monsters that could stumble _really_ menacingly. And Dr. Horrible, he loved his rays.

He had a lot of them. Over time he'd perfected his Freeze Ray, Stun Ray, and Death Ray. He'd developed every sort of ray he could think of — everything from the Flame Ray (which was little more than a glorified flamethrower, though no one dared say that to his face) to the Cow Ray (which had proved to be a failure, but the President _was_ a moose for a few minutes, and that was almost a cow). There had been unpleasant rumors about how exactly he used his Enlargement Ray, and he'd punished the gossipmongers with a Silencer Ray. To him, there was no problem that couldn't be solved with the proper application of the right sort of ray.

Of course, it had to be calculated. Certain situations were very _delicate_ — without just the right sort of ray, just the right moment, and just the right evil laugh to accompany that moment, it could all fall to pieces.

And such was the nature of the Captain Hammer situation. The fool had recovered from his _trauma_ — it almost made Dr. Horrible laugh to use the word, little as he thought of the man — and was back at work, if slightly less prominent on the heroing scene. He had tried to avoid Dr. Horrible at first, but he was his _nemesis_ , and one had to seek the other out eventually. They were head-to-head again, and he wanted to be prepared. In true supervillain fashion, his greatest desire was to see Captain Hammer destroyed. Completely, utterly destroyed.

And that was how it hit him: desire. The best way to destroy him was to hit him emotionally, like he'd been hit; he had to find Captain Hammer's greatest desire and tear it to pieces.

And thus was born the Desire Ray.

He had to test it first, of course; this was one ray he couldn't have failing on him in action. He'd learned his lesson about that sort of thing.

"Moist!"

Well, what else were henchmen for?

"Moist! Get in here!"

A moment later the door opened, and there was his loyal assistant, almost damp enough to be dripping onto the carpet. "You called?"

"Yeah. Stand still a moment." Without any further warning, he turned, aimed the Desire Ray, and shot his best friend.

The effect was immediate; Moist's eyes went wide and blank, his jaw slack. He was still just a moment, and then his lips moved, loosely forming words; gradually his voice came to him, and he began to utter, "A moist woman. A moist woman. A moist woman."

Dr. Horrible cringed, turning off the ray quickly. As Moist shook his head, coming back to himself, Horrible asked, "How do you feel?"

"Horny," was the answer, immediate and clear. "I definitely feel horny."

Dr. Horrible raised an eyebrow, somewhat disturbed. "Uh, all right. That's probably because you were just thinking about moist women."

Moist nodded. "That would make me horny."

Dr. Horrible chose to tune him out at that point, instead reveling in his success. "This is it. I'm finally going to destroy Captain Hammer, once and for all, by rotting him from the inside out."

\---

It wasn't hard to figure out where Hammer lived. The three most prominent members of the Dr. Horrible Fan Club had previously been stalking him, and Horrible was hardly afraid to exploit that well of information. Of course, Hammer would probably move right after he put his plan into action, but it wouldn't matter then. He only needed the one shot.

Standing at the end of Hammer's bed at midnight with only the light from the streets below to go by, Horrible considered the possibility of being unable to destroy Hammer's desire. What if it was something intangible? What if it was something he couldn't reach? What if, as was frighteningly likely, Hammer's greatest desire was _himself_? He had maintained a fairly big ego even after the Penny incident, and from what Horrible could see, most, if not all, of the pictures framed around his home — a fairly modest apartment, actually — were of himself. Occasionally there was another person in the image, but Hammer was always the most prominent figure. Other than that, his house was fairly sparse; he didn't seem to have much decorating sense, going for the barest design he could manage.

But that night wasn't about interior decorating, it was about revenge. With the words "no mercy" flashing through his mind, Horrible drew his ray, pointed it at Hammer's chest, and pulled the trigger.

Hammer's eyes opened and his body shook, almost as though he had been shocked. But he was no more resistant to the ray's effects than Moist had been, and after a moment his body went still, his lips active, moving until he could speak.

"You. You. You—"

Startled, Horrible turned off the ray, throwing it aside. It clattered on the floor, and if Hammer had somehow slept through getting shot with a Desire Ray, the noise would have woken him up.

But it didn't look like he had managed to sleep through it anyway; he pushed himself upright, looking a bit drowsy but definitely awake. He shook his head, then focused in on Horrible, narrowing his eyes. " _You_."

 _Oh, crap_ , Horrible thought, _his greatest desire is to kill me._

"You," Hammer said again, and he was — crawling? Yes, crawling, crawling across his bed, like an animal stalking its prey, right toward him. Horrible backed away, but the ray was still there, and it was dark. He tripped, and for the slightest moment he was defenseless on the ground; that moment was all Hammer needed to pounce.

He was trapped, Hammer's big, meaty hands holding his shoulders down and his eyes leering at him from that big, meaty head. He was a mouse in the cat's claws, a snake in the mongoose's teeth, an armadillo in the snares of something armadillos feared. Why hadn't he thought to bring a back-up ray? But he had to keep his cool. "So, um, Hammer. We meet again. Or should I saaa— aaah, what is that?"

 _That_ felt a lot like Captain Hammer's dick hard against his leg. Not that Horrible had spent a lot of time with other men's dicks on his leg, but he was pretty sure that was what it felt like. That, or the Captain was keeping sausage in his pajama pockets.

Except he wasn't wearing pajamas. Or anything. "Oh dear God."

And Hammer's leer seemed... surprisingly not malicious. "That is the Hammer."

Horrible could feel his face burning. He was going to be killed by a naked idiot. How humiliating.

And then Hammer thrust down, rubbing against his crotch, and a light went on in Horrible's head. "I think it likes you," Hammer said, and Horrible groaned.

It was from the cheesy line. Really. Not from the erection he totally wasn't getting. "Well... well, I don't like _it_ ," he replied, as if that would make it true.

He could just see the outlines of Hammer's face, and saw him raise one eyebrow. "Oh, really? Because the Little Doctor seems to disagree."

"The Little Doctor has gone mad with— with madness," Horrible babbled, turning his head away. He tried to move, but he was still stuck in place by Hammer's hands, and by that point his legs as well. "If you'll excuse me, I think I can go fix that--"

A hand brushed up his shoulder and up his neck; when it came to his jaw, Hammer turned his head and kissed him.

It wasn't the _worst_ kiss Horrible had experienced. He didn't have a lot to go against, really; there had Stacy Milo at prom, who threw up right after, and a few drunken fumblings at the Evil Academy, and after that most of his time had gone toward getting into the Evil League of Evil... and stalking Penny.

But he didn't want to think about that.

Hammer licked across his lower lip, which proved to be an effective distraction; Horrible squirmed, which achieved him nothing against Hammer's grip and made his half-hard dick brush against his captor's. He opened his mouth, dumbly, trying to think of something to say, but Hammer took the opportunity to plunge his tongue into his mouth. His quip came out as "mmmf uh-ruh" with the extra tongue.

Captain Hammer pulled away after a while, allowing Horrible a chance to gasp for air. "You know, I'm not normally this horny."

"You don't say," Horrible wheezed, still ineffectually trying to push Hammer away. "Get off me, you mongoloid... Neanderthal!"

Captain Hammer ignored him, still apparently lost in thought. "Although... I _am_ normally this sexy. It's no wonder you can't resist me."

"Resist you?" Dr. Horrible sputtered, beating a fist against Hammer's chest. "I'm trying to destroy you!"

"Well, you're not doing a very good job." Hammer looked down, watching Horrible's blows. "That doesn't hurt."

Horrible stopped, ashamed. "If you had been a normal person, it would have."

Hammer stood up, and Dr. Horrible took the opportunity to scrambled backward until his back hit the wall. Hammer barely seemed to notice; he laid down on his bed again, propping himself up on his elbows. With that infuriating self-satisfied smirk of his, he crooked a finger, beckoning Horrible to join him.

Horrible shook his head. "No. Oh, no no no. There is no way I'm letting you—"

"Fuck me."

"Buh wha?" Horrible asked, eyebrows shooting up. "What I mean to say is — _shammawha_?"

"Fuck me," Hammer repeated, one hand on his dick, stroke slowly. He seemed almost _casual_ about it. "Your dick. My ass. _Please_."

Dr. Horrible licked his lips nervously, standing up. Well, that changed — not a lot, really, but it changed something. Put it in a new light. "Well, if you put it like that..."

He walked up to the bed, watching Hammer's hand work at his cock. He pulled off his gloves, his eyes not leaving that wonderfully arousing sight, dropping them next to the Desire Ray. He climbed onto the bed, between Hammer's spread legs, running his hands up his nemesis's thighs. They were as muscular and tough as the rest of him, and Horrible's mouth watered at the thought of fucking someone so powerful. It felt like control, like power.

"Do you have anything to, uh, make this easier?" He didn't know a lot about sex through experience, but he'd spent a lot of time researching — or that's what he told Moist it was when he was interrupted, anyway.

"Under the bed," Hammer said, his free hand coming up to his chest, pinching a nipple. Horrible felt like his brain was short-circuiting. Hammer shot him a strange look. "Uh, Doc— Billy?"

He snapped out of it, hurrying to look under the bed. "Right, right." He stripped off his boots and pants hurriedly, and, after a moment's consideration, his coat and the thin shirt underneath; although the red did look striking on him, he had a strange urge to have Hammer see _all_ of the man who would fuck him. Naked, he crouched and looked under the bed. There was one box there, labeled "sex stuff." He pulled it out, and — there were a number of weird instruments. He recognized most of them, at least, but some... he wasn't sure he wanted to know. He dug through it, careful not to touch the items that looked like they hadn't been cleaned in a while, and found a small tube wedged between a dildo and a pair of handcuffs near the bottom.

He dropped back onto the bed, uncapping the lube and coating his fingers with it. He settled between Hammer's legs again, staring hungrily at that hand again, moving his own to that firm, delicious-looking ass— "Don't."

"What?" Horrible asked, looking up and meeting Hammer's eyes. "But I need to— you need to be _prepared_."

"I'm always prepared," Hammer said. Horrible rolled his eyes. "No, seriously. Powers, remember? Just use that on yourself."

"Whatever you say," Horrible muttered, coating his erection with the slick stuff. There was too much, and some left on his hand; he had to wipe it off on the sheets. Hammer didn't seem to notice.

"No condom?" Hammer asked with a smirk and a raised eyebrow.

"I'm evil," Dr. Horrible scoffed, positioning himself. "I'm too edgy and wild for condoms. Do you think Bad Horse uses condoms?"

"I didn't think he _could_ ," Hammer said, and then Horrible was in, slowly sinking deeper until they were pressed together, and he moaned. "Oh, _fuck_ yes."

"Yesss," Horrible hissed, and already he felt close. It had been too long. He paused, enjoying the feeling of having his cock in something other than his hand, and then took a breath and pulled out, out, almost all the way before thrusting in again.

"Harder," Hammer groaned, trying to meet his thrusts. "Fuck me _hard_."

"I am!" Horrible growled, adding more force to his thrusts; it nearly hurt _him_ to push in so hard, but that only added to the sexual high, the intense pleasure of fucking the quasi-Adonis under him.

Hammer wrapped his legs around Horrible's thighs, pressing him in on every thrust. It made it feel significantly less like Horrible was doing the fucking, but he focused on the fact that it was _his_ dick in Hammer's ass, which really shouldn't have been so hot, but— well. He'd blame it on the evil madness later.

"Take it," Horrible demanded, and he blushed a little, because it didn't come out as sexy as it had sounded in his head, but Hammer moaned anyway, his hand moving faster than before, his other hand sliding down his chest to his balls, massaging them.

Hammer threw his head back, his mouth opening to emit a noise that sounded like he was being burned, and Horrible swallowed, wondered if he'd done something wrong. The noise ended in a hiss and he could see most of Hammer's muscles working, could feel them inside his ass, around his dick, and then Hammer's fist and stomach were covered in white, thick come, and his muscles were still tense and--

Horrible hoped the sound he made as he came was more dignified-sounding than it seemed at the time, and lower-pitched, but he figured it didn't matter much, because the fact was that he _was_ coming, deep in Captain Hammer's ass, and Hammer wasn't laughing, he was just looking sated, drowsy, smug, and so damn _pleased_ Horrible couldn't imagine he would have cared if he had tried an imitation of Bad Horse's Death Whinny just then.

Dr. Horrible panted, swallowed, resisted the urge to collapse on Hammer's broad chest. He pulled out, slowly, and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Wow," Hammer said, and it was Horrible's turn to feel smug. "So that's sex with a guy."

Horrible stared, dumbfounded. "Wait, you mean — you mean you've never slept with a man before?"

"No," Hammer replied, unconcerned. "What, you mean you _have_?"

"Well, not technically..."

The were silent a moment, and Horrible reached down to pick up his coat. He felt awkward in a way that was disturbingly reminiscent of every time he'd seen Penny before speaking to her.

No, he didn't want to think about that.

"You know," Hammer said suddenly, and Horrible thought that at least he was good as a distraction, "I think I might be a little gay."

Horrible opened his mouth, but found that he had no response to that. And he was almost okay with that.

Captain Hammer was asleep again by the time he was dressed, and as he gathered up the Desire Ray he wondered if it had been worth it. Maybe the ray needed tweaking. Maybe _he_ needed tweaking, because he didn't really feel like tweaking it.

He left through the front door with the disturbing thought that all his years of evil might have been nothing more than a really bad case of blue balls.

\---

A week later, Captain Hammer and Dr. Horrible squared off in the streets of LA. Horrible had a new ray — the Confusion Ray, which turned out to not have a focused enough beam and left Moist wandering around aimlessly when he _should_ have been keeping Hammer from beating him senseless — and Hammer had nothing to say about their night together.

Horrible wanted to say something about it, and about the rash he was still trying to get rid of — he'd made a note to use a condom next time, evil or not — but he thought better of it and made a quick escape after he managed to stop Moist from walking in front of a moving bus.

The next day he used the Desire Ray on an old lady, and while he was less than fascinated to know that her greatest desire was to be young again, he was even _more_ less than fascinated by her come-ons and her hand on his crotch.

He decided the Desire Ray was defective and scrapped it.

Three weeks after that, Moist pointed out that The Hammer seemed persistently over-interested in their battles.

Dr. Horrible was sure he had those Desire Ray plans still lying around _somewhere_.


End file.
